For many people, your relationship or your marriage is one of the most central elements in your life, home, and happiness.
In recent survey of all women, five particular problem areas always came up.
Here they are, along with strategies to address them:
1. Demanding gold stars. Oh, how we all crave appreciation and recognition! You want gold stars for doing your homework....But your hubby just isn’t very good at handing out gold stars, and that makes you feel angry and unappreciated.
In response, try and think more about doing things for yourself. If your doing it for yourself, you won't expect him to respond in any particular way.
2. Using a snappish tone. Keep your attitude in check! Don’t let yourself get too hungry or too cold; try to keep your apartment in reasonable order, because a mess makes people crabby.
3. Not showing enough consideration. . Studies show that married people treat each other with less civility than they show to other people. Try working on basic consideration, such as giving him warm greetings and farewells, not reading your emails while talking to him on the phone, etc. Very basic.
4. Score-keeping. If your a score-keeper, always calculating who has done what.....
“I cleaned up the kitchen, so you have to run to the store”-- that sort of thing. You may want to find ways to try to deal with this tendency.
“When one loves, one does not calculate.”It’s easy to see that over-claiming leads to resentment and an inflated sense of entitlement. So now when you find yourself thinking,
“I’m the only one around here who bothers to…”or
“Why do I always have to be the one who…?”Remind yourself of all the tasks you DON'T do...and HE does.
5. Taking my significant other for granted. Just as you find it easily to overlook the chores done by your partner (see #4)...it's easy to forget to be APPRECIATIVE.
Make sure to appreciate his many virtues and instead of focusing on his flaws.....focus on all the great things he does.